I don't want to feel this way

It has been 3 years
I have not seen him
Walking wounded they say
I don’t want to feel this way
I don’t want to feel this way
Its my turn to miss him
How it feels like getting hurt
How it feels like not seeing him

I dun want to feel this way..
Regret..
Its not my intentions to hurt you
I want you now
I don’t want to feel this way

You are so far away
Are we meant for each other
You dun say I miss you anymore..
Do you still want me like before?
Coz I want you now..
But I dun want to feel this way
My life now revolves around you
Around meeting you..

And I know you feel the same way too..
The same way..
I know coz I feel it..even if you don’t tell me.. I know..
The chemistry is strong enough
Between us even far apart
Even after all these years
Do we want to feel this way?

Tho we are far apart..
our hearts are close to each other..
I know it… and so do you..

Fears of Rejection

lighting confusion

copyright@sha

Evey single moment of my time now
I think about this
I think about what will I do next
Will I be able to go forth
Go forth to achieve what I want
I have been dreaming and dreaming
About this
I have been planning and planning
Of what I want to do

I am afraid of the turned down
Afraid of being turned down
Will I be able to accept it?
This rejection..
What am I to do?
Of being rejected

Oh please
Let me have my dreams
Let me live my dreams
I have been dreaming about this
For so long
I have been dead
All this while
I have not lived

Oh please
Don’t let me not live my dreams
Just this once
Please give me the chance

What is next for me?
Please show me the answers
What is next?
What should I do?
Waiting
And waiting
Is what I should do
Praying for an answer..

Fate on my Side

Flames

copyright@sha

As I open my eyes
I think about my fate
Every single morning

Midday
I seek for confirmation
I seek for approval
I seek for you
Its getting closer
Closer to getting to us
But how much closer?

By the time I close my eyes
I am already tired
Tired of this anticipation
Its too much for me to handle

Every single day
Searching for answers
Searching….

Will fate be on my side?
Cause there’s hope
Hope inside me
But what if fate is not on my side
Its killing me slowly now
The fire is slowly dimming

But no!
I will not let my fire turns into ashes
Too soon
There is hope
Still hope
Your fire is burning tremendously
I can feel it
I feel it coming from you

Thank you
For having hope
You make me stronger
Your fire caught on to my dying flames
And I thank you for that…

Fate I Seek

clouds of rain

copyright@sha

Sadness overwhelming me
I feel emptiness inside me urging to come out
Therefore there were tears
Tears of sadness flowing out freely from my stone cold heart
Am crying for me
Crying of desperation
Crying of helplessness
Am crying for you too
Crying for us
My tears kept on flowing
I didn’t know I had that much sadness in me
Why?

Why am I sad?
Will fate be on my side?
Meeting you again is the fate that I seek
I seek to be in your arms again
I seek to share everything with you
Everything about me that I have not let anyone know
The thoughts that goes thru my head
My crazy thoughts
My fears, my sorrows
My happy happy thoughts
sharing my outmost happy feelings
As you will only understand

Or will you?
That is why meeting you again is the fate that I seek
Meeting you again I what I long for
I need to be sure
I need to be sure you are the one
The One for me?
I need to be sure
I will not be at peace till this is sure